


What Happened Last Night?

by Sollux_Kleinman



Series: Conman/Kleinphy AUs [5]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Arcades, Arguing, Being Lost, Drinking, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Handcuffs, Hungover, M/M, Memory Loss, Nobody knows each other AU, Sex Shop, conman, kleinphy, pansexual jared kleinman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-13 18:57:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15371172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sollux_Kleinman/pseuds/Sollux_Kleinman
Summary: Jared wakes up in the middle of nowhere with a boy he’s never seen before. Together, the two must piece together what exactly happened the previous night.





	1. Good Morning?

**Author's Note:**

> Boom guys, guess who managed to pull themself out of spiraling despair to write this for y’all! Missed you guys

Jared twitched, his eyes blinking open groggily as he woke up from what felt like the deepest sleep he had ever been in. Once his eyes adjusted to the hazy light, his brain began to register where exactly he was.

What the hell?

He appeared to be in an empty parking lot, the only light from the flickering street lamp a couple yards from where he laid. 

Groaning, Jared attempted to get up, only to find one hand handcuffed to the dumpster behind him.

What on earth happened last night?

No, not last night, it was still dark.

“Anyone here?” Jared called, his voice hoarse. 

The dumpster behind him gave a clunk as something moved inside it.

Oh great, a raccoon was going to get him.

Jared attempted to yank the handcuff off as the lid to the dumpster flew open and revealed a boy.

“Who the fuck are you?” The boy asked, brushing long dark hair out of his face as he glared at Jared.

“I could ask the same thing.” Jared huffed, glancing at his handcuff. “Did you do this?”

The boy put a hand to his forehead and shut his eyes for a minute. “I don’t remember, I have no clue what happened. Last I remember I was at the bar...”

“Me too, was it the one-“ Jared started.

“By the weird antique shop that only sells clown dolls.” They said in unison.

“Alright, so we know where we met, but what did we do after that?” Jared asked. The boy hopped out of the dumpster and began to glance around. 

“Well, we’re at a Wendy’s, and considering I’m not starving, which I usually am when I’m hungover, means that we probably ate.” The boy suggested. “I’ll go check inside and ask a worker.” The boy began to head around the dumpster.

“I’m Jared, by the way.” Jared leaned up against the dumpster.

“Connor.” The boy nodded.

“Well, Connor, please don’t ditch me here.” Jared smirked, watching as Connor disappeared around the corner.

“No promises.”

After what felt like ages to Jared, Connor appeared from around the corner.

“Well?” Jared asked impatiently, moving forward only to be yanked back by the handcuff.

“You’ll be happy with the outcome, though they weren’t open, I found these near the front door.” Connor held up a pair of keys before leaning down to undo the handcuff. “It’s also around 4 am.”

“Damn, we really managed to party last night.” Jared’s hand was freed and he pulled it away, twisting and examining it. “Oh thank god, it was starting to go numb and I was worried.”

“Well, we still have to figure out where on earth we are, so don’t stop worrying yet.” Connor offered his hand and helped pull Jared up. 

“Here, I’ll just check my phone-“ Jared reached into his pocket only to find it empty, he frantically checked the other one. “Holy shit, my phone’s missing!”

“Seriously, you didn’t think to look for it earlier? It was the first thing I thought about when I woke up.” Connor snorted. The two began to walk towards the street, which was just as empty as the parking lot. 

“Where are all the people? It may be early in the morning but you always have a couple weirdos out and about.” Jared sighed, checking both ways on the street.

“Perhaps we’re the weirdos.” Connor shrugged. “Left or right? Which way did drunk us come from?”

Jared thought for a second, looking down to the right. There was an ice cream shop that’s sign was peeling off in great chunks and a boutique with a large Help Wanted painted in the window.

To the left was a dark shop with it’s door wide open and a billboard that looked a very familiar-

~~~

“Connor, Connor look!” Jared slurred, mocking the man on the poster by flexing his muscles and posing.

“You look nothing like that guy, you don’t have muscles!” Connor laughed, flexing his muscles as well.

“No way, my muscles are way bigger than yours!” Jared lifted his arm up to Connor’s. 

“I could do anything better than you, you weakling!” Connor teased, leaning in.

Jared frowned and looked around, “Then how about we have a food contest, at that Wendy’s there, whoever eats the most burgers wins.”

“Deal.”

~~~

“Left, we go left, I remember that poster.” Jared insisted.

“You do?” Connor scrunched up his face. “I thought you couldn’t remember anything?”

“I remembered the poster when I saw it, maybe we’ll find our way back if I can just remember more.” Jared began to head left, Connor on his heels.

“By all means then, lead the way.”


	2. Mind Map

    "So, we're just going to keep heading this way?" Connor asked, hands in his pockets. 

    "Yep, until I can recognize something." Jared walked a couple paces in front of Connor, still a bit uneasy about the boy. After all, he had woken up to being handcuffed to a dumpster.

    "What makes you think you will?" Connor snorted, glancing around. They were clearly in a bad part of the city. "We should find somewhere safe and just wait till morning when there are more people around."

    "Does anywhere around here seem safe?" Jared retorted.

    The answer was no, and they both knew it by the way Connor kept checking behind himself and Jared kept his fists clenched and ready.

    "Fine, whatever." Connor sighed, letting silence fall over the two again. What could be said between them? Clearly they had had some kind of weird bond the previous night, but when they were sober they were just too different.

    At least, that was what Jared figured.

    "So, do you black out drinking often?" Jared tried to say conversationally.

    "No, I was having a shitty day and just needed to relieve some stress, guess I just lost track of how many drinks I had." Connor kicked a rock along as he walked. "Why, do you?"

    "No, I was celebrating my friend's birthday by making him go out and-" Jared's eyes widened. "Holy shit! What happened to Evan! When did I leave him last night?"

    "Damn, not only did you lose your phone, you lost your friend?" Connor chuckled, resulting in Jared hitting him. 

    "This is serious, what if something happened to him!" Jared bit his lip nervously, picking up the pace. 

    "Relax, you probably ditched him at the bar and he took a cab home." Connor scoffed, annoyed that he had to match Jared's speed. "What, is he your boyfriend or something?"

    "No, he's not my boyfriend." Jared rolled his eyes. "As if."

"Well, the way you were bitching about him one would figure." Connor huffed, crossing his arms.

"Hey, I-" Jared was cut off when he tripped and stumbled on something.

"Hey, watch it!" No wait, he stumbled on someone.

"Sorry." Jared turned around to apologize to the homeless man lying on the ground-

~~~

"Jared." Connor whispered, his arm sling around the other boy's shoulders.

"Yeah?" Jared asked, rubbing at his eyes.

"You see that homeless man there?" Connor announced much too loudly, the man had probably heard him. "I think we should give him something. You know, just cause."

Jared nodded to agree and began to dig through his pockets. He pulled out his phone.

"Here you go." Jared leaned down to hand the man his belongings. Connor did the same.

"Are you sure-" The man began.

"Kleinman out!" Jared threw up two peace signs and stumbled away.

~~~

Did he seriously give away his phone?

"Hey, uh, sir?" Jared coughed, scooting closer to the man, who peered up at him. "Did we happen to stop by here last night?"

The man simply looked at Jared, "No, I ain't seen you before."

Jared smiled at him, "I think we might've given you our phones-"

"Listen, I haven't seen you two, okay?" The man huffed.

"Please, we were really drunk. Here, in exchange I'll give you all the cash I have." Jared slid his wallet out of his pocket, only to find it completely empty except for a single credit card and a subway gift card for fifteen dollars. "Er, Connor?"

    Connor rolled his eyes and pulled out his own wallet, to which he supplied forty bucks from. "Here." He handed the man the money and Jared forked over the gift card.

    The man eyed them both and pulled two phones out of his pocket, "You two better pull your acts together cause next time I'm not returnin' nothin'!"

    Jared snatched the phones up and grinned at the man. "Thank you very much!" Walking away, Jared returned the phone with the skull case to Connor and tried to turn on his own phone.

    Dead.

    Seriously?

    "Does yours have any battery?" Jared groaned, looking over at Connor's phone.

    "Nope, looks like we'll have to continue using your weird mind map." Connor sighed. "Joy."

    "Fine by me, I think I recognize that shop up there anyways.” Jared began to sprint towards the flashing store front.

“What! Do you realize what that shop is?!”


	3. The Shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao this is where it starts to get weird

    Connor caught Jared's arm, yanking the boy back, "Jared!" He hissed.

    "What?" Jared turned to face him, tugging on his arm slightly. "I remember this place, we were here!"

    Connor sputtered, loosening his grip on the other boy's arm, "But we can't go in there!"

    "Why not?" Jared demanded, writhing out of Connor's hold and crossing his arms.

     "That's... that's a... an adult... store." Connor fiddled with his coat.

    "Well they might have some information for us." Jared shrugged, leading the way. After a short pause, Connor followed.

    The minute Jared opened the door strange music blared loudly, which made him regret going in, but he powered through. Once inside, he kept his eyes trained to the floor as he made his way to the counter, Connor trailing slightly slower behind him.

    Jared rung the bell at the counter and after a second a woman appeared from the back room. 

    "Oh hey, sorry about that. I'm Alana, what can I do for you folks?" The girl asked, Jared dared make eye contact with her and immediately the girl's expression changed. "Oh, it's you! Well, how'd it go?"

    "Go?" Connor echoed from behind Jared.

    "Yeah, you two came in all excited, bought that pair of handcuffs and left all giggly-“

~~~

Jared burst into the shop, dragging Connor along by his hand. Alana had looked up from her magazine and smiled as the two came in.

“Hello, just holler if you two need anything.” She chimed.

Jared wandered aimlessly through the store, staring at all the items as he past. Connor, however, seemed to be avoiding looking at the items as he followed Jared.

Finally, when they had reached the back of the store, Connor had glanced up and took note of something hanging on one of the hooks. He reached up and snatched it, examining the item.

“Hey, do you want that?” Jared said a little too loudly, making Alana glance up again. 

Connor blushed, shaking his head, “No, I’m good-“

“Awesome, we’re getting it then.” Jared snatched them up and marched up to the counter. “Just these, please”

“Alright, that’ll be $25.99 please.” Alana went to grab a bag but Jared shook his head.

“We won’t need it.” He smiled and began to fumble with his wallet. “Shit, I don’t have any cash from that arcade. Oh! I have my card.”

“Thank you for your purchase!”

~~~

Jared and Connor shared an embarrassed glance.

    "Oh." Was all Jared could muster, he was too busy willing the blood not to rush to his face. Well, at least now they knew where the handcuffs had mysteriously appeared from.

    "Could you tell us where in town we are?" Connor asked, shifting away from Jared.

“Oh yeah, you folks are on Anderson Street.” Alana shrugged. 

Jared had never heard of it.

“Okay, well we’re trying to get back to Second Street, do you know if it’s close?” Connor sighed, rubbing at his forehead.

“Oh yeah, that’s walkable, it’s about fifteen blocks if you keep going that way.” Alana nodded. 

“Thank you so much.” Connor grabbed Jared’s arm once more and pulled him to the door.

“You folks have a nice day!” Alana called, slipping back into the back office.

Connor opened the door and the two stepped back out into the street, which was just as poorly lit as Jared remembered it. He had to squint from getting used to the harsh lights in the store.

“Alright, we just keep heading this way and we can find the bar, get a cab, and never see each other again, okay?” Connor said, still tugging Jared along with him.

“Jesus, who knew you were so eager to get rid of me.” Jared snorted. “Last night apparently you couldn’t keep your hands off me.”

“Oh shut up, we were both drunk out of our minds, everyone makes mistakes when they’re drunk.” Connor scoffed. Jared stopped, which made Connor stumble as he was yanked back by his hold on the other boy’s arm.

“What, am I just a mistake to you?” Jared said bitterly. 

Connor sighed, taking his hand off Jared and turning around, “That’s not what I meant-“

“You can’t change what happened, Connor. No matter what, last night, you and I had a thing.” Jared pushed past Connor and began to head down the sidewalk. “Let’s hurry up and go so I never have to see you again.”


End file.
